I’ve always been convinced that things happen for a reason and that God always puts us where we need to be. So, when I was doing my daily ritual of skimming through the internet, I came across an article which truly hit home. The article, “This is 45: The Eye of Life’s Storm” , is one woman’s reflection of her life and her current age.
These are not articles I typically read because they all tend to sound the same and/or hold no relevance whatsoever to me. But this was different.
“Forty-five is the eye of life’s storm. The emotional drama of growing up is behind you, the physical perils of aging are still to come. In these years of quiet, it is easier to be grateful… and fearful. You are an expert on more things than you care to be, and you realize that most of your life has been of your own making. Yes, you are dealt cards that are both good and bad, but you are the one who plays them. With that realization comes a feeling of late great responsibility. You come to terms with how many moments, days, months have been squandered. You vow to do better; you know that you won’t.”
I found that paragraph to be so powerful and true. Where we are in our lives is of our own making. It’s tempting and easy to blame others for our own failures, but accepting that we are the ones who determine (to some degree) the direction of our lives and the choices we make is the deal breaker in determining the remaining course of our lives. It’s deciding to stop being afraid of taking risks and stop allowing fear to derail us from what we truly want and where we want to be. It’s accepting that everyone screws up and that’s ok. There’s always next time…
Life isn’t perfect; it’s downright messy at times. But I take solace in knowing that each step I’ve taken has ultimately led me down a better path even though it never feels that way when I’m in the thick of the turmoil. And I am certainly less tolerant of others trying to impose themselves and their ideas on me in their effort to control. I’m focused on being in control of myself and how my actions affect those around me. I can’t say that I’ve always been that way. I had to bang my head against a brick wall many, many times to learn and to accept. At 45, I’ve got so much more perspective and I’m grateful I recognize that. I’m grateful I have those bumps and bruises for my children to see and learn.